so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize