Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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