these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
