weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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