just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
