We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
