I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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