he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize