Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
