4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
