Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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