White coat. Heels.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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