That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
