They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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