the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
