just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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