Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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