It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
