And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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