He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
