what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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