i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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