I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
