Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
