so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
