BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize