i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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