My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
