therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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