you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize