you would pick up someone in the library
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
