About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
