remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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