The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
