He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
