Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
