I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
handjob tips. give me some.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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