Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
