no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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