i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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