called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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