So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
