dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
