Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
