I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
