Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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