I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
