so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
