Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
