He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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