i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
