i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
