WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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