So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize