Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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