Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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