don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
