Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
