Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
