ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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