There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so let's talk penis.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
