i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
