where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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