One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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