Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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