matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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