Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
