Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
