Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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